h o w s u n ((:

DAY & DATE : Thursday, September 20, 2007

HEY PEOPLE .
i'm back to rant my sadness i had been through before prelim and after prelims.
BEFORE PRELIMS
there was once i said i wasn't happy right ,
and i mentioned that i'll be back if i have time right ?
i shall continue today .
oh , i have to check what it was about that day
i forgot already
hold on arh .
* checking *
ahh gosh .
i forgotten already
forget it then
i shall carry on with today
TODAY
okay , it's supposed to be a happy day
you know , prelims are over ,
you should go ku-ku crazy !
and have fun and have fun first
but i didn't get it today
it's not the people i'm hanging out with
it's me .
i'm expecting too high and i expect people to be able to catch up with my activities.
i didn't get the agenda fulfilled today
which made me very sad
to make things worse ,
i was brought to a high peak and then was trash to the very bottom .
it's beyond the bottom line.
it's not alright !
and i had tuition , had this completely gong taxi driver
brought me to the wrong place and he charged me 6.50 cents.
i was late so i didn't bother to negotiate.
today's just one of the bad days i had.
it's after prelim .
it's so ironical.
you're supposed to have fun , yet such depressing issues are there screaming at you to handle them.
DOMINATING FACTOR
and do you guys know how it feels to be labelled as the 'bully'
it's like , when you're too close with a person ,
once that person breakdown ,
and people there start pointing fingers at you ,
asking why i made him/her sad ,
why did he/she cry ,
why this why that ,
like hello , i'm not the person's boyfriend/girlfriend lah .
it's like , how ridiculous can it be .
what if he's/she's sad over his/her work , studies , friendship problem with OTHER people .
and he/she starts moaning over it ,
does that mean it's my fault ?
no what .
c'mon . i'm not BLAMING on ANYBODY
it's just that ....
i felt ridiculous .
i felt insecure .
i felt like a fool.
it's like , i thought i can be a very good friend ,
and he/she's willing to sacrifice ,
yet , when this kind of problem occur , like he/she cry , it's confirm my fault .
it's like i only have you guys as friends to share ,
but i'm famous and known as the 'bully' ?
doesn't that you guys dislike me ?
and if you guys are my only friends ( in school ) ,
then i feel like nobody in the school trusts me.
i felt so isolated. ( Note the word " FELT " )
somemore , you guys can't tell i'm always joking ???
do you guys have to make it sound so serious ??
maybe i was lousy at my acting , but please do spare a thought for me.
i was trying to spur the atmosphere but ....
whatever lah .
but one thing is for sure ,
it doesn't feel great to be labelled as the 'bully'
and were constantly being said by people that you're bullying people.
mind you ,
it's not great !
it's not shiok alright !
and I DID NOT SPOIL ANYBODY !
* PS - if you do not understand the above content , please don't bother about it *
it's just some nonsensical issues that i'm harping on .
and please do not speculate about this issue , just read and forget . thanks.
ETC
I'M NOT HAPPY WITH MYSELF TODAY !!
I'M NOT HAPPY TODAY !!
I'M NOT HAPPY TODAY !!
I'M NOT HAPPY TODAY !!
I'M NOT HAPPY TODAY !!
BUT ..
i'm happy that i went out with santy , adeline and decy to orchard with adeline's mum.
i'm happy about that.
AND ..
i went topshop to shop yesterday
and i spend like 180 dollars.
thanks dad and mum
i love you guys :D
i love you guys ,
but i just don't know how to say it to you guys .
:S perhaps through results ?!
i was happy yesterday .
and was fooled by the instantaneous happiness.
perhaps i was just far to ridiculous too !
far too demanding as a friend
and far too unreasonable .
howsun

how about this ?!
HOWSUN ROCK!
DON'T YOU AGREE ?! YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SAY YEA !
howsun finish jotting down his notes at 11:38 PM