h o w s u n ((:

DAY & DATE : Monday, April 25, 2011

AIRPORT ..
my favourite place,
also the place i feel sad the most.
cause i like the feel being in the airport,
especially when you are the one going to fly.
by just looking at the airplane,
especially Singapore Airlines,
it just gives me the sense of satisfaction.
one that i couldn't describe with words.
then, it's also a place that has memories of sadness.
decy, adeline and those people i had to send off.
gadis, but thankfully she always come back safely.
Thank you.
and i never liked saying goodbye, i always want to have a see you soon,
better still, see you tomorrow!
but sometimes, certain things are just beyond your control.
people leave for the better, further studies or knowledge,
i wonder when is it my turn.
-
anyway, you would never know how good you are at something,
unless people start telling you by judging you right ?
or maybe it's just evident that you can see it for yourself.
well, apparently, i always think i'm never good enough at something,
not because i'm trying to get attention,
it's because i see there are people who are way better and more talented than me.
then, won't you start thinking 'what are you good at?'
i mean, people sometimes say, you don't have to be no.1 to be good,
as long as you're in the top band, you're good.
but what if you're not even at the top band ? O.O
hmm.
and i'm surprised by how i was seen by other people.
-
oh oh, i need my daily dosage of Gin's dance to feel inspired.
i just couldn't get my mind off that dance lah.
tsk.
it's just good.
-
don't you think,
that your heart is the hardest part of your body to please ?
haha, well, that's only if you are talking about relations lah.
but how come relations is like something that can make you so happy and so vexed at the same time ?
you know, in hokkien they call it 'tzek ak'
haha.
-
sometimes i ask myself.
are you who you are !?
do you pretend to be happy when you don't really feel happy ?
i'm not including the element of sadness here ah.
i'm saying you can be moody and moodless but you're just smiling, pretending to be happy.
do you ? do you ?
-
i don't like feeling attached.
unless it's mutual lah. doohhh~
but actually if it's mutual also not good,
cause will like live in own world.
then, it's like so dependent on another person.
and then when the another person doesn't meet the expectation you expected,
then you begin to feel sad.
thing is, you can't tell that person.
then you just take it alone loh.
how about that, when the other person live their life normally.
sian.
i don't like being in this phase where you can't help it,
but you just wait for replies.
hoping the next message you open is the one you expect,
waiting for messages and not doing anything,
and whenever i see anything related to you,
it calms me down. ease my mind.
addicted ? can say so.
-

soometimes, certain things are best remained as fantasy.

or imagination.

i was just thinking,

would you be in a one way relationship,

because you like this certain person,

but you clearly know he/she is after you for mere pleasure,

yet you still choose to be with this person,

because you just like this person, knowing there's no reciprocation.

would you ?

and i know why it's so difficult to let go of a relationship.

cause love is not something tangible.

anything involving feelings would require another level of comprehension.

and why the earth is everyone going overseas ?

aiksong, gadis, kenny, mum.

woahh.

sian.

you know, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

but absence also makes me go crazy.

gadis asked me whether i am not sick of her meh , see her everyday.

made me think,

is whether she find is sick to meet me, or ...

i don't know, i infer as that. but i know she doesn't mean anything bad lah.

aiyerrr.

i ran 8 km today.

neighbour say one.

i thought run to jp and back is 10km leh.

hmm. i run until leg 'nua'.

and GTO is a nice show. hehehe.

and maybe i should stop using anything that has the ability to connect with you

but i know i will just die inside my heart.

i know that won't work,

cause i will then go find you personally.

that's not good.

but with the technology,

i will wait for your message or call.

not good for howsun, not good.

okay, just stop expecting.

just stop hoping.

just stop thinking.

* haha, like as if it can be easily done, retard! *

howsun

26 Apr 2011

11.04 PM

how about this ?!
HOWSUN ROCK!
DON'T YOU AGREE ?! YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SAY YEA !
howsun finish jotting down his notes at 8:18 PM